


The forest for the trees

by ardvari



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Cold Case
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:50:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10656219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardvari/pseuds/ardvari
Summary: Sara wasn’t used to snow anymore, squinted a bit against the pinpricks that stung her cheeks and buried her hands in the pockets of her coat. Lilly was right beside her, much more comfortable with the elements. So comfortable in fact that it seemed she was walking in between the snowflakes, not through this beginning storm with a stranger beside her.





	1. The forest for the trees

“I’m glad there’s less blood on this job.” 

On the way down the stairs and out of the building they kept bumping into each other, walking too close and keeping their heads down against the blowing snow. 

Sara wasn’t used to snow anymore, squinted a bit against the pinpricks that stung her cheeks and buried her hands in the pockets of her coat. Lilly was right beside her, much more comfortable with the elements. So comfortable in fact that it seemed she was walking in between the snowflakes, not through this beginning storm with a stranger beside her.

“You sure this is the right place for you?” she yelled over the wind and half turned towards Sara without slowing down.

“I went to school in Boston!” Sara yelled back, straightened up a bit and growled to herself as Lilly shrugged. 

“I know a West Coast girl when I see one.” Came the snarky reply. 

Snorting a bit, Sara slid down the stairs into the moist, uncomfortably warm mouth of the underground subway system and tried to brush the snow out of her hair before it melted and ran into her collar. 

One look at Lilly kept her from complaining and she wanted for all she was worth to wipe that smile off the other woman’s face.

*+*+*+*

When Lilly pushed open the door to her house, she heard the relieved sigh of the woman behind her, the promise of hot chocolate and warmth all she needed right now. That they circled around each other like two caged wildcats didn’t matter, neither did the recognition in each other’s eyes, the same longing, the same melancholy. 

“Amaretto in your chocolate?” Lilly asked, held up the bottle of amber- colored liquid and shook it, creating a fiery storm inside. 

Sara nodded and sat down by the window, on the wide ledge, and stared out at the snow. Cold cases, death warmed over. New leads on old cases, less blood, more gratification when science managed to put people behind bars that should have been there years ago. It sounded good. Close enough to being a CSI without all the bad stuff. 

With steaming cups Lilly walked over, handed off one of them and sat down on the couch, seizing up the woman sitting by her window. 

“Why here?” she finally asked, not a mean question, just curiosity.

“Seemed like the right place to go when I left.” 

“Fair enough. Why’d you leave?” this was the most she’d cared to ask someone in a long time.

“Is this an interrogation?” Sara asked, one eyebrow raised while she sipped her hot chocolate.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to…” 

“Something happened. I needed… to get my head on straight. Opportunity knocked and I ended up… here.” Sara broke in, a wry grin on her face. Snapping at each other wasn’t going to help. 

Lilly shrugged, blew into the steaming cup and stared past Sara and out the window.

“This won’t let up for a while. First big snowfall we’ve had in a while.” 

“I missed this kinda weather in the desert. The real storms, the snow… the fact that a hot chocolate always tastes better when it’s freezing outside…” Sara mused, took another sip of the spiked chocolate and sighed. 

“Couldn’t live in the desert, I think. This place is… home.” For a while they sat in silence, content for now but not completely at ease with each other. 

Neither of them knew that the other had come incredibly close to death. And for now, that was fine.


	2. Counting trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her back was to the door and she didn’t see the blonde woman coming in, looking around and finally walking towards her with that confident, lanky stride.
> 
> “Scotty told me I might find you here.” Lilly said, parking herself on the barstool next to Sara.

Sara watched another car drive by, splashing through the wet streets, the smeary red taillights reflecting in the window as it disappearing around the corner. Slowly she took another sip of the burning amber liquid in the tumbler in front of her and sighed softly. 

Her back was to the door and she didn’t see the blonde woman coming in, looking around and finally walking towards her with that confident, lanky stride.

“Scotty told me I might find you here.” Lilly said, parking herself on the barstool next to Sara.

“I needed to think about some… stuff.” Sara explained, swirled the drink in her glass, a bright, confined tornado.

Lilly grabbed the drink out of her hand, tilted her head back and chucked it all. The drink left a warm trail all the way down to her belly and she smiled at Sara’s shocked expression.

“You won’t find the answers to your questions in the bottom of a glass, Sara.” she said, her voice slightly rough now, sandpapery. 

“Well… I’ve looked everywhere else.” came the slightly stubborn reply. 

Lilly sighed, signaled the waiter for another drink and crossed her arms on the counter before she turned back towards Sara. 

“ _Everywhere_?” she asked gently, pushing her too long bangs out of her eyes. 

Sara didn’t answer, stirred the ice cubes in the fresh drink in front of her with a toothpick and got lost in the sound of ice clinking against glass, in the little swirls of water mingling with the alcohol.

“I was shot last year.” Lilly admitted, her expression somber as she sipped on her own drink.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, the silence floating easily between them. Sara frowned, her lips pressed together tightly. Finally she swirled the glass in her hand again, emptied it the way Lilly had done before and slammed the glass onto the counter.

“I was kidnapped. And left to die in the desert.” 

Lilly looked at her, a hint of emotion in her eyes but she blinked, and it was gone.

“I know what that feels like, Sara. When you think you’re gonna die for sure and all of a sudden you’re alive and you’re not really sure you deserve to be.” The words hung between them until Sara nodded. 

That was pretty close to what she felt like, this feeling of rediscovering everything, of the world going on spinning while she stood still and watched pathetically while life went on around her. 

“So _that’s_ why you’re here.” Lilly stated with a sigh and Sara nodded again.

“Pretty good, Detective Rush.” she quipped with a wry grin. 

“Experience.” Lilly shrugged. 

The next round of drinks sat on the wet, sticky counter in front of them and Lilly dipped her finger into the alcohol, pushed an ice cube around her glass and finally sucked the liquid off her finger. 

“How did you… move on?” Sara asked, looking up at the other woman with bright eyes.

“I haven’t.” 

This time the silence was almost stifling and Sara wiped her hands on her jean-clad thighs, swallowed another mouthful of burning liquid and sighed.

“Let’s call a cab. I’ll take you home. Neither of us should be alone.” Lilly finally said, pushed her half empty glass away and fished her wallet out of her purse. 

Sara nodded, peeled a couple of bills out of her jacket pocket and threw them somewhere close to her glass.

They stumbled out of the bar together, shoulder bumping into shoulder as they tried to fit through the door together, taking a strange kind of comfort in each other’s personal space. When they reached the curb, Lilly linked her arm with Sara’s and they kept each other upright, swaying like willows in the wind. 

More snow was starting to fall, tumbling on the wind, scattering to the ground haphazardly. 

Lilly raised her arm at the sight of the yellow cab coming down the street it slowed and slid to a halt next to them. 

Neither of them remembered much of the cab ride, just the squeak of the seat beneath them, the wary glance the cabbie spared them through the rearview mirror and the nearly impossible task of counting out the fare, four hands and too many bills and the impatient sigh of the cabbie at their drunken giggles. 

This was surreal, but good and both of them needed it. 

Sara clung to the rail as she skidded up Lilly’s slippery front steps and Lilly had trouble finding the keyhole, squinting at it, leaning insanely close to it until the key finally slid in and the door popped open. 

“Sesame…” Sara mumbled as she pulled off her shoes and petted the orange cat at her feet. 

“Water?” Lilly asked, focusing on making her way to the kitchen. Sara followed, not because she had to, but because her brain was running on low energy and she didn’t really care where she was going and what she was doing. 

“Sounds good.” she answered belatedly and watched Lilly pull a bottle of water out of the fridge. She tossed it in Sara’s general direction and the fact that the brunette caught it was a miracle. 

“Since we’re all about sharing… my mother was an alcoholic. I do _not_ wanna be like her.” Lilly shook her head, standing a few feet away from Sara now, who handed the bottle back to her. 

“My mother stabbed my father to death.” Sara deadpanned, an odd sense of feeling entirely numb settling at the pit of her stomach. 

Lilly stared at her for a moment, swallowed and came towards her, the bottle of water dropping on the ground, a wet slosh, water on their socks and pants and flowing along the tiles.

The blonde put her hands on Sara’s cheeks, pulled her closer and pressed their lips together. It was an awkward kiss, pouty and close-lipped and tasting of scotch with a hint of cherry lip balm. Neither of them opened their mouths or closed their eyes, staring wide-eyed at each other’s blurry face. 

Finally Lilly pulled back, slightly lost in the awkward silence and Sara’s slightly shocked expression. Shocked and… something else. Something Lilly couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

“B- bed?” she asked pathetically and shrugged. 

“Sleep?” Sara asked back, just as pitifully. 

Together they waded through the water, silent and determined. Still drunk and hazy they pulled back the covers on Lilly’s bed and slipped underneath, fully dressed and with wet socks. 

They stared at each other, both on their sides, both unsure of what to say. Finally Lilly nodded, a hint of a smile flashing across her face. Sara nodded back, still wide-eyed. Her eyes fluttered shut and with a sigh, Lilly dropped off to sleep, too.


	3. When the last tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her eyes flutter and the little sigh that escapes her goes unnoticed in the roar of the turbines and the hiss of the air conditioning. 
> 
> Her thoughts travel back to Philadelphia, to cold mornings and the things she would have, could have, should have done to ice cold Detective Rush. _With_ her.

The plane bounces softly, jostling Sara in her half-awake state of mind, feeling hazy and heavy while her thoughts are running wild. And oh, are they ever running wild. She blames them on the sleeping pill she took before she boarded the plane, these rampant thoughts, and a little feral smile flashes across her face. 

Her eyes flutter and the little sigh that escapes her goes unnoticed in the roar of the turbines and the hiss of the air conditioning. 

Her thoughts travel back to Philadelphia, to cold mornings and the things she would have, could have, should have done to ice cold Detective Rush. _With her_. 

In her head, she gets to do all these things. She gets to touch and kiss and lick and stroke all she wants and the thought makes her shift in her seat. If she’s honest with herself, there’s really nothing she wants to do more than tug on Lilly’s hair, shake her out of that frosty cool demeanor she has. Because she’s seen slices of what Detective Rush can be like when the façade is cracking. 

Raw and pure and magic.

A strand of brown hair tickles her nose, a welcome, cool distraction as her eyes open and she looks around the cabin. It’s bright and cold but she feels warm, the fire burning between her thighs managing to warm even the tips of her fingers.

She’s touched Lilly’s hand and slept in her bed and kissed her, once, awkwardly. Now she wonders, will always wonder, what Detective Rush’s tongue would feel like dueling with her own, how soft her lips could really be. Where Detective Rush would dare to put those lips…

Sara would never tell anybody about these thoughts, oh no. Those thoughts are locked up in her head, at the back of a drawer she rarely opens. Yet every time she does, she’s surprised at what she finds, at all the lust stuffed into that drawer.

In her head, Lilly does more than press her lips to Sara’s. In her head, they stumble back against the kitchen counter, sliding on the wet tiles a bit and slightly breathless. She can hear Lilly’s small wince when the edge of the counter digs into her spine, when she realizes that she’s trapped. They make out in the fuzzy, wintry light that spills in through the window and Sara knows exactly where her hands would be, what they would touch. 

Clothes drop into the spilled water, a white blouse landing next to a blue one. In Sara’s head, much to her surprise, Lilly’s front door opens then. 

How far exactly her mind is willing to go surprises Sara when Sofia saunters into her fantasy. 

Another cool blonde, cool on the surface, hot on the inside. There’s something warm and soft and malleable inside of Detective Curtis that Sara wants to find. 

The three women stand frozen for a moment, sizing each other up before Sofia kicks her shoes off, comes towards them and wraps her arms around Sara’s naked waist. They’re cold and Sara shivers, liquid heat already pulsing between her legs. 

There’s a small duel without words then, just cool blue eyes, between the two detectives and it makes Sara’s eyes darken hungrily. 

She has a thing for Sofia Curtis and leans into her, finding Lilly’s hand and tugging her closer, away from the counter. They get oddly entangled, standing there on the cold, wet tiles and finally Lilly tugs them both towards the bedroom.

This time they don’t fall into bed and sleep side by side without touching. This time, they can’t stop touching and kissing and exploring and neither of them gets particularly self-conscious about taking their clothes off. 

Sofia is behind her and Lilly in front of her and where Lilly’s mouth isn’t, Sofia’s hands are. 

Sara, lost in thoughts as she moves restlessly in her seat on the plane, sighs again and manages to attract a worried glance from her seat neighbor. The business man wonders if she’s alright and wonders even more what she’s thinking about because of that look on her face and the quivering bottom lip.

The very same quivering bottom lip Lilly nips softly while Sara leans against Sofia, tries to focus on the feel of the arms around her, on the quick work Sofia’s fingers make of the button on her pants. 

She likes where her thoughts take her, the way she imagines Lilly’s porcelain skin to feel and the hidden strength in Sofia’s arms.

Detective Curtis and Detective Rush get closer, too. With Sara between them, they kiss and touch and giggle, the animosity gone because they decided to share. Sara has enough love for both of them and enough sighs and moans and kisses and touches. Sara’s love won’t run dry.

The three of them unlock secrets and find hidden places while the snow keeps falling steadily outside. Diffused light softens their bodies as they marvel about how pale Lilly is and how gorgeous she looks when she’s tangled up in Sofia, soft against hard, ice versus fire, pale against tanned. They’re like opposites, and irresistibly attractive for Sara, who wants it both, the soft and the hard and everything in between.

She wants them both, needs them both and the fact that Detective Rush is on one side of the continent and Detective Curtis on the other and she, on a plane, in the middle, makes her curse under her breath. 

Because she wants and needs to be with them, have them both in that softy glowing bedroom. She’s feeling playful and confined, like a kitten in a pet carrier, not enough room to move and no one to play with. 

Like a good girl, she sits still, pulls the seat belt a little tighter. Her thoughts get to roam while her body, wet and tense, is forced to be still. If she’s honest with herself, she likes restraining herself. It gives her a sense of self-control. 

Sara thinks about Sofia’s hands, still cool from being outside, the way they splay across her belly, leaving a handprint that she can feel but not see. Tingling, it lingers long after Sofia’s fingers have found their way into the waistband of her boy shorts. She wouldn’t be caught dead in anything but, much too addicted to the way they make her feel. 

Lilly, a bit shy but oh, so curious, follows Sofia’s example and strokes and touches and Sara finally, finally gets to map out every inch of Lilly’s ivory skin. She gets to stroke and marvel at the softness. Lilly’s skin feels like thin silk, fragile and so very, very soft. She looks like spring, Sara thinks, like spring in the mountains with her rosy cheeks and her little smile. 

There’s so much to be explored and felt and mapped out that they are unaware of everything around them, of the twilight settling over the city and the wind picking up to blow the snow around. Tongues dueling for a fickle dominance, lips brushing across nipples and thighs sliding along thighs and Sara feels wrapped up in the two detectives. 

They take their sweet time, teasing and giggling and when Lilly makes Sofia come by letting her hair sweep over the other blonde’s breasts and belly, they all sigh in unison. 

The business man next to Sara looks over at her again, watches as she arches her back against the seat slightly, barely noticeable and probably, he thinks, because she’s uncomfortable. The look on her face says something entirely different but he can’t go there, doesn’t want to think about what exactly the woman next to him is thinking about to make her arch against her seat like that. 

He, too, shifts uncomfortably and checks his watch. He decides to ignore the brunette next to him because if he doesn’t, he will take thoughts of her to bed tonight, a bed he shares with his wife. There’s no room for his seat neighbor in that bed, not even in his thoughts. 

Sara’s thoughts aren’t concerned about being proper. Sara’s thoughts are wild and untamed and Lilly is on top of her writhing against her, their breath coming out in ragged gasps, skin rubbing against skin while Sofia’s fingers work their magic between their bodies. Sofia knows how to get them all riled up, Sara decides. Sofia’s fingers circle her clit; dip into her while her own fingers move between Lilly’s thighs. 

It’s a bit hard to concentrate on getting someone else off with Sofia’s fingers between her legs and she feels as if her head is going to explode from the sensory overload. Lilly is all feelings now, no more cool reserve and she pushes against Sara’s hand. Her eyes are stormy and dark and she reminds Sara of those paintings of wild fairies. Feral and raw, with that lingering hint of innocence deep down in those eyes. 

Sofia finally climbs down Sara’s body, puts her tongue where her fingers are and in her confining plane seat, Sara grips her armrests and bites her bottom lip to keep from moaning out loud. She can _feel_ Sofia there, knows exactly what her lips and tongue feel like between her legs and in her thoughts, she gets to buck into the touch. 

As it gets darker outside, they have to rely more on the feeling of each other, on the sounds and the tastes and less on the sight, naked and shuddering in what seems like an eternal afterglow. 

They play for hours, can’t get enough of each other and there are endless possibilities of what to do. It feels a bit like exploring a foreign country, like breaking boundaries and waking up after a long sleep. 

When dawn paints the heavy snow clouds a faint shade of blush, they finally drift off to sleep, entangled in each other and the sheets. 

Sara opens her eyes, sees the city coming closer beneath the heavy belly of the plane and sighs. Whatever life has in store for her, nothing can reach those thoughts in that drawer in her head. 

Carefully she stuffs the images back inside, stuffs Detective Rush and Detective Curtis in there along with all these other hidden fantasies and pushes the drawer shut. Cautious and guarded as she is, she locks it and swallows the key and by the time the plane touches the tarmac, the only evidence of her dreaming about Detective Rush and Detective Curtis are her wet boy shorts. 

The businessman gives her a wary smile as he slides out of his seat. He wonders what it would be like to have her in bed with his wife, to watch them, but the thought disturbs him and he shakes his head. He won’t allow himself to think like that. 

Not about a stranger.


End file.
